Dengan nada memaksa raja Midas kemudian bertanya pada Silenus, “Wahai dewa Silenus yang bijaksana, hal baik apa yang harus dilakukan oleh umat manusia?”
Tulisan singkat ini dipersembahkan untuk sahabat saya, Khairul Fata (Bung Ilung), terlepas dari apakah ia sepakat dengan gagasan dalam tulisan ini atau tidak. Tanpanya, tulisan ini tidak pernah terpikirkan.
Mayoritas pemikiran filosofis selalu menganggap manusia sebagai makhluk yang bermartabat dan karena itu ia pun dipercaya mengungguli makhluk-makhluk lainnya. Apa yang membuat manusia bermartabat tidak lain adalah kebebasan. Kant, misalnya, mengatakan bahwa hanya manusia yang, dengan kebebasannya, mampu menciptakan aturan untuk dirinya sendiri. Hal yang sama tidak mampu dilakukan oleh makhluk lain bahkan oleh malaikat sekali pun.
Persoalannya kemudian adalah, bagaimana manusia memiliki kebebasannya? Apakah manusia itu bebas atas dasar keinginannya sendiri atau ia mendapati dirinya bebas begitu saja seiring dengan peristiwa lahir ke dunia?
Bicara soal peristiwa “lahir ke dunia”, ada salah satu adegan dalam film Cappernaum 2018 yang cukup menggugah pikiran di mana seorang anak, Zain al-Hajj, yang berusia sekitar dua belas tahun harus mendekam di penjara atas kasus percobaan pembunuhan. Ketika kasusnya diadili, si hakim bertanya apakah ia ingin menyampaikan sesuatu. Zain hanya mengatakan bahwa ia kecewa pada kedua orang tuanya. Dengan rasa penasaran si hakim kembali bertanya, “Apa yang membuatmu kecewa pada kedua orang tuamu?” Zain menjawab dengan singkat, “Saya kecewa karena mereka telah melahirkan ku.”
“Lahir ke dunia” merupakan suatu peristiwa yang cukup misterius karena ia tidak pernah melibatkan kehendak bebas manusia. Itulah mengapa orang akan selalu bertanya, “Mengapa saya dilahirkan?” “Mengapa saya berada di dunia justru ketika saya sendiri tidak pernah benar-benar menginginkannya?”
Sejarah peradaban umat manusia telah menghasilkan beragam jawaban atas pertanyaan ini; mulai dari jawaban yang bersifat religius, filosofis, hingga saintifik. Tentu saja jawaban-jawaban tersebut sesekali dapat menghibur orang-orang yang mengalami kegetiran hidup. Namun, sekali lagi, peristiwa “lahir ke dunia” tetap terselubung dalam misteri.
Jika memang manusia lahir begitu saja tanpa melibatkan keinginannya, lalu alasan apa lagi yang dapat mengklaim bahwa keberadaannya di dunia lebih bermakna dari pada keberadaan seekor lalat? Kebebasan? Sayangnya, sekalipun manusia bebas, maka, meminjam istilah Sartre, ia hanya dikutuk untuk bebas. Kata “dikutuk” sekali lagi mengisyaratkan bahwa untuk menjadi bebas pun manusia tidaklah benar-benar bebas.
Lahir ke dunia membuat manusia terperangkap dan dikendalikan oleh apa yang disebut Schopenhauer sebagai Will to Life (Kehendak Hidup). Si Kehendak Hidup hadir dalam bentuk keinginan-keinginan yang tidak pernah terpuaskan, sehingga seringkali manusia harus berhadapan dengan situasi yang saling bertentangan antara keinginannya di satu sisi dengan realitas di sisi lain; inilah rumus penderitaan.
Si Kehendak Hidup inilah yang “memaksa” manusia menjalani kehidupan sekali pun kehidupan itu sendiri bersifat tragis. Namun, di sisi lain, semakin manusia menyerahkan dirinya pada Kehendak Hidup, maka semakin ia mengalami penderitaan. Apakah manusia selalu tidak berdaya di hadapan Kehendak Hidup? Adakah suatu cara yang dapat membuat manusia lepas dari Kehendak Hidup? Tidak ada cara yang lebih radikal dan efisien selain yang dianjurkan oleh Dewa Silenus.
Menurut mitologi Yunani, Silenus merupakan sosok dewa yang sangat bijaksana. Suatu ketika ia ditangkap oleh raja Midas yang memang sudah lama memburunya. Dengan nada memaksa raja Midas kemudian bertanya pada Silenus, “Wahai dewa Silenus yang bijaksana, hal baik apa yang harus dilakukan oleh umat manusia?”
Sambil tertawa sinis dewa Silenus menjawab, “Mengapa kau memaksaku untuk menjawab sesuatu yang lebih baik tidak kau dengar? Hal terbaik bagi umat manusia adalah tidak pernah dilahirkan. Jika kau terlanjur dilahirkan, hal baik selanjutnya yang harus dilakukan adalah sesegera mungkin menjemput kematian” (Nietzsche, Lahirnya Tragedi, 2002: 35). Singkatnya, bunuh diri adalah cara paling radikal untuk menegasi Kehendak Hidup.
Bagi mereka yang percaya dengan doktrin agama, bunuh diri adalah suatu dosa karena kehidupan adalah pemberian Tuhan dan kematian adalah hak prerogatifNya. Artinya, manusia tidak memiliki hak untuk menentukan kapan dan bagaimana ia dilahirkan sekaligus tidak berhak menentukan kapan dan bagaimana ia akan mati. Tidak sedikit juga yang mengecam aksi bunuh diri dan menganggap pelakunya sebagai pecundang.
Namun, bukankah pecundang adalah mereka yang tidak berani memberontak? Bunuh diri adalah puncak dari pemberontakan. Bunuh diri adalah pemberontakan atas kehidupan. Mereka yang melakukannya patut dipuji karena telah berani mengambil keputusan mengenai kapan dan bagaimana mereka harus mati. Bunuh diri adalah jalan menuju kebebasan dari kehidupan yang tragis.
Sumber ilustrasi: fineartamerica
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